Have you met a guy and suddenly found yourself thinking about him sexually? Maybe you’re not in love with him yet but he excites you.
Sexual thoughts are often normal and harmless but in some cases they can be toxic. You can get help from a therapist to curb these erotic urges.
1. He’s attracted to you.
If you think about him a lot, it is likely because you are sexually attracted to him. This is good news as it means you are both on the same page and can move forward with your relationship if that is what you want.
You might notice he looks at you a lot, and can’t take his eyes off you. He may also show physical signs of attraction to you, such as staring at your hands, your feet or even your back when you are sitting in class. He might try to touch you subtly, like brushing your shoulder or holding your hand when you talk.
He might drop hints, such as telling his friends about how hot you are or mentioning that he has a crush on you. He might also show you jealousy when other men look at you, which is a sign that he is protective of you and wants to be yours. He may also act more dominant around you, trying to establish his dominance over you. This is an important thing to note as this type of behavior can be a sign of toxic masculinity.
2. He’s confused.
He’s confused about his feelings for you and doesn’t know how to make up his mind. This is a really common scenario for women to find themselves in and it can be super frustrating. It can lead to you freaking out and blaming yourself, him or other people in your life.
He may text you and call you often, but then suddenly stop. He might even block you on his phone or start ignoring you when you see him in public. He might even start acting like you’re a friend rather than your partner.
A guy who is confused doesn’t want to hurt you so he says he doesn’t know how he feels and then starts slowly pulling away from the relationship. This is usually a sign of him trying to save face and he may be using you as a scapegoat until he can figure out what he wants in his life. This is usually caused by intense fears, an insecure attachment style or trauma from his childhood. CLICK HERE to learn more about how you can rescue a man who is confused about his feelings for you.
3. He’s jealous.
Jealousy is a natural emotion that can cause people to act out in ways that they might not normally do. It is often caused by feelings of insecurity and the fear that someone else may steal something, whether it be a friendship or possession.
For example, if he acts suspiciously when you talk about other men in your life or gets defensive and argumentative, this could be a sign that he is jealous of you. Alternatively, if he becomes sullen when you mention other guys or starts to follow your friends on social media in a bid to find out what’s going on between them, this can also be a sign that he is jealous.
In the song ‘Everything Touches’, Labrinth describes how he is jealous of everything that touches his ex-girlfriend, even a drop of rain or the wind. He feels as if she is slipping through his fingers like sand and that it’s not fair that other people can enjoy her love. This type of jealousy is usually rooted in insecurities and can be difficult to overcome.
4. He’s insecure.
If he constantly accuses you of flirting with others or even talking to other guys, then that’s a big red flag. He is insecure and may be attempting to test your devotion. This can be an unhealthy relationship pattern. He is worried that you will leave him so he tries to control you by controlling your social life and your time away from him. He will check your phone and demand to know where you are and who you’re spending your time with. This type of behavior is toxic and needs to be addressed immediately.
Cut ties with anyone that brings you down or makes you feel bad about yourself. They do not deserve a place in your life.
5. He’s confused.
Considering that men and women are very different when it comes to understanding emotions, there’s a chance he is confused about what he feels for you. He may be pulling away because he doesn’t know what he wants from you. This can be difficult, especially if you’re in the beginning of a relationship.
It’s possible he knows what he wants but isn’t saying it because he doesn’t want to hurt you. He might also be sabotaging your relationship out of fear or an insecure attachment style.
This isn’t a positive sign. It means he isn’t strong enough to tell you how he feels, or that he doesn’t have the courage to do so. You should give him space and find someone else to talk to who can be a source of positivity in your life. They can boost your oxytocin and keep you from feeling too down and out about the situation. If you can’t find anyone, consider talking to a therapist. This will help you to process and move on from the thoughts that are consuming your mind.
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