Why Do I Keep Having Sex Dreams?

Orgies, bondage, or swapping partners in a dream are all pretty normal sex dreams. They can mean that you are feeling extra libido-driven or have some unresolved erotic desires.

But if your sex dreams involve your boss, this could indicate that you are trying to “sleep your way to the top” and need to work on climbing the corporate ladder the healthy way.

1. You are in a relationship

Dreaming about sex while in a relationship is fairly common, but it does not automatically mean you are cheating. Rather, it can signify that you are feeling like a third wheel in your relationship or that you want to feel more powerful or dominant within the partnership. For instance, if you are dreaming about having sex with someone famous, it could be symbolic of your desire to feel special and important in the world and to have others take note of you, according to Cadyn Cathers, MA, a psychological assistant. This is especially true if you are not speaking up for yourself in your day-to-day life or if you aren’t getting what you need from your partner.

Another common theme is the sex in public dream, which may be indicative of your need to feel safe and vulnerable with your loved one. In addition, dreams about sexual encounters in public often reflect an overactive libido.

Sometimes it is hard to tell what a dream means, but it is important not to overthink it. Dreams are a powerful tool for self-reflection and can help you tap into your emotions and desires. If you have recurring sex dreams, consider keeping a dream journal by your bed and writing down the details of each dream. After a few entries, you can begin to see patterns and pinpoint what your subconscious is trying to tell you.

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2. You are not in a relationship

If you are not in a relationship and you keep having sex dreams, it can be really confusing. However, experts say this does not necessarily mean that you are dissatisfied with your current relationship or sex life. Sex dreams are quite common and everyone experiences them at some point in their lives.

If your dream is about group sex, it might be a sign that you want to be more social. “Group sex is a way of expressing sexual desire for people we feel close to, even if we don’t have an intimate relationship,” says Hearne. “The idea of sex with multiple people can be sexually stimulating for the brain.”

A dream about your coworkers may also have a deeper meaning, as it could indicate that you are feeling a bit stifled in your career and that you need a little more adventure. “Sex in the workplace might represent your desire to climb the ladder of power,” Hongiman explains. “So the dream may be a way to express this desire without causing any real-world problems.”

If you are dreaming about an ex, it could be that you are feeling jealous of your partner or that you feel like they are not giving you enough attention. Alternatively, the dream might be a way of dealing with some unresolved feelings or even an attempt to relive your own childhood sexual experiences.

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3. You are in a new relationship

If you’re dreaming about your partner while in a new relationship, it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. This kind of dream often has little to do with sex, and more to do with your feelings and desires. This is what experts call “emotional sex.”

When you have a sex dream about someone else, it usually doesn’t mean that you want to sleep with them IRL. Unless they are someone that is very close to you, such as your BFF or a coworker, it probably doesn’t even make sense to consider sleeping with them in real life. Dreaming about having sex with your boss or a coworker is more likely to be about the power dynamics in the office and the way that you feel when you are around them.

According to dream interpretation website Holloway, when you are dreaming about an ex while in a new relationship it could indicate that your current partner is repeating some of the same habits from your previous relationships. Or it could be a sign that you miss your ex and wish that your current partner was more like them. Dream psychologist Lauri Loewenberg suggests thinking about the qualities that your ex has that you admire and see if you can start to embody those traits in yourself.

When you dream about sex with a stranger it may also be symbolic of something missing in your current life, such as a desire for intimacy or power. Alternatively, this dream may be telling you to pay more attention to your existing friends and family members.

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4. You are in a breakup

If you are in a breakup and keep having dreams about your ex, this is completely normal. Dreams of your ex may be a way for you to deal with pain from your past or it could mean that you are still in love with them. If the dream is very sexual, it could also be a sign that your libido is high and you are craving a more intimate relationship.

If the dream is more like an affair or a fantasy with someone else, it may simply reflect your desire for that person’s qualities, such as their beauty, intelligence, or power. If the dream involves your partner cheating on you, it could be a sign that you feel unfulfilled in your current relationship.

Lastly, if you dream of yourself having sex with someone who is not your current partner, it could be a sign that you are feeling insecure about your relationship. This could be because you are jealous of your partner’s success or it could be a sign that you feel like they do not treat you well.

While having sex dreams in a relationship is perfectly normal, it can also be a red flag that you need to talk to your partner about what’s going on. If you have a recurring theme in your dreams, try this science-backed strategy for making sense of your sex dreams.

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