If you’re feeling sad after sex, it’s important to know that it’s not as uncommon as you might think. This emotion is called postcoital dysphoria, and it can be caused by a variety of factors.
Human emotions run the gamut, and it’s not unusual to feel emotional after sex. However, it’s important to understand why you’re feeling this way so that you can address the issue.
1. You’re Feeling Overwhelmed
For those who have a lot of resentment, anger or even fear surrounding sexual intimacy and/or sexual pleasure, it is possible that crying during or after sex might be a way to release some of these feelings. These negative emotions might be triggered by a recent encounter or a previous one.
It could also be a sign that you have unresolved issues in your relationship, like infidelity, a lack of communication or feeling as though sexual encounters don’t align with your morals. It is important to talk about these issues with your partner so that they can help you navigate them in a healthy way.
If these issues are causing you to feel down after sex, you might need to seek therapy for yourself or with your partner, to help parse through these complex feelings. Sometimes, these feelings can be a result of PTSD, which is common in people who have experienced or witnessed traumatic events in their lives. It is also important to note that, in some cases, these feelings can be a result of depression or other mental health issues, which should be addressed by a therapist or health professional.
2. You’re Feeling Guilty
You may feel sad after sex because of unresolved emotional issues that have been carried into the bedroom. For example, if your partner has been giving mixed signals or you’ve had past sexual experiences that left you feeling shameful, sadness may occur.
Having a strict religious upbringing or being abused in the past can also lead to feelings of guilt and depression after sex. If this is the case for you, it’s a good idea to seek help from a therapist.
It’s not uncommon for people in kink communities to experience feelings of guilt after orgasm. It’s believed that these feelings are related to the physiological release of endorphins that occurs after orgasm, but more research is needed to understand why some people have these feelings.
If you’re experiencing these feelings, it can be helpful to practice aftercare with your partner. This involves discussing what went well, what could be improved and what your intentions were for the session. Practicing this can help you move past the guilt and enjoy your intimate time more.
3. You’re Feeling Uncomfortable
Human emotion runs the gamut, and that is true even during intimate moments. Oftentimes, feeling emotional after sex isn’t anything to be ashamed of. It is, however, important to consider the underlying reasons you are crying, particularly if it happens regularly.
It may be because you have a lot of anxiety about sex and sexual intimacy, which makes the act more difficult to complete. If this is the case, it’s probably worth talking to a therapist about it.
On the other hand, if you feel like you’re crying because of an orgasm that was especially intense or beautiful, it could be a sign that you’re head over heels in love. Or it could be a release of tension after climaxing. It’s not uncommon for someone to have a “crymax” after a powerful orgasm, similar to how some people can laugh themselves silly when watching a funny movie. It’s a great way to decompress and feel more in control of the situation. Regardless, tears are a natural response to an orgasm, and you should embrace it.
4. You’re Feeling Out of Control
There are a few reasons that you might be feeling emotional after sex. For example, it could be a sign that you’re having problems in your relationship. If you’re having difficulty connecting with your partner emotionally, it might be a good idea to consider counseling.
Another possibility is that you’re having trouble separating your emotions from the arousal you feel during orgasm. This is known as postcoital dysphoria and it can cause feelings of sadness, aggression, anger, depression, and anxiety. Those feelings might be linked to past traumas that you may have experienced as a child or adult.
If you are having difficulties in your relationship, it might be helpful to talk to a sex therapist about what’s going on. They can help you work through your issues so that you can enjoy sex more fully in the future. They can also help you understand why you’re having such strong emotions after sex and provide tips on how to deal with them. In some cases, a sex therapist can even recommend medication to reduce your feelings of depression after sex.
5. You’re Feeling Unhappy
The reasons we feel emotional after sex can be complex. Many people experience this feeling as a result of unprocessed trauma from their childhood or from negative experiences in their current relationship. For example, if you or your partner had sexual or physical abuse as children this can have a lasting impact and cause you to cry after sex.
The hormones oxytocin and dopamine are released during sex, and we can often feel attached to our partners. However, the moment the orgasm ends and you realise you are no longer connected to your partner in the way the oxytocin made you feel, it can leave you feeling sad and depressed.
It is important to remember that the feelings of sadness you have after sex are normal, and there is nothing wrong with you. If you are experiencing these feelings on a regular basis, it is worth seeking the help of a sex therapist or a counsellor. By examining the causes of your post-sex emotions, you can start to reduce the frequency with which you experience them.
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