Many people experience a sadness after sex that doesn’t have anything to do with their partner or sex itself. This feeling is not uncommon, and it is important to know what’s causing it so you can address it appropriately.
Feeling sad after sex can be caused by a variety of things, including guilt, body image issues, or past sexual trauma. Read on to learn more about why you might be feeling empty after sex.
1. You’re Feeling Lonely
It’s not uncommon to feel lonely after sex. This is because the act of sex releases oxytocin, which makes you feel close to your partner. However, if you’re having casual sex or sleep with someone on occasion and aren’t really invested in the relationship, that feeling can wear off quickly.
If you’re not able to enjoy sex without an emotional connection, you may need to have an honest conversation with your partner. It’s also possible that you have underlying anxieties or concerns that are contributing to your feelings of sadness after sex. In this case, you may need to see a therapist for help.
Depression after sex is a very common phenomenon and can affect people of all genders, regardless of how enjoyable the sex was. This is known as postcoital dysphoria or tristesse, and it can last for a few minutes to several hours. Luckily, it’s not caused by a sexual problem and can be lessened with some self-reflection and therapy. Here’s a helpful article on how to cope with PCD.
2. You’re Stressed Out
If you’re feeling sad or anxious after sex, you’re not alone. It’s normal to feel this way after intimacy, especially if you’re in a relationship and have a history of conflict or negative communication. This is known as postcoital dysphoria and is a sign that you need to work on your communication skills with your partner.
Feeling sad after sex could also mean you are in an unfulfilling relationship, harbor resentment toward your partner or are afraid to communicate how you’re feeling. This can make you cling to sex as a way of feeling good instead of checking in with yourself before engaging in sexual activity.
Another reason you may feel empty after sex is that it’s simply not what you want right now. Sex is a powerful experience that can bring up a lot of emotions, but it’s important to know what you really want out of your relationship and don’t go into sex expecting the same results every time. This can lead to a lot of frustration and feelings of low self-esteem.
4. You’re Bloated
You’ve just had a romp, and you’re basking in the post-coital glow. Your body feels deliciously full and satisfied, but then you feel that twinge in your stomach. That bloated feeling isn’t from the food you just ate, but it could be an indicator of a bigger health problem.
Your bloated belly may be due to an imbalance or overgrowth of your natural bacteria, which can lead to infections like yeast or bacterial vaginosis. These issues are often triggered by semen in the vagina or personal lubricants with artificial ingredients, according to ob-gyn Anna Cabeca.
You might also be bloated from digestive issues, such as irritable bowel syndrome or food intolerances. This is especially common when you are close to your menstrual cycle, as your hormones can affect how your intestines work. This is why it’s important to eat a healthy diet and drink plenty of water. You might need to cut out certain foods that are known for causing gas, such as beans and legumes, if you want to avoid post-sex bloating. This will give your digestion a chance to settle down and help you feel better.
5. You’re Eating Too Much
Having too much food before sex can lead to bloating, which can be uncomfortable and even painful during sex. If you are experiencing bloating, try eating some foods that can help reduce this such as ginger which has been found to ease gastrointestinal pain and bloating.
Aside from bloating, too much food can also leave you feeling exhausted after sex. On average, people burn 60-100 calories during sex so it’s important to replenish these calories afterward to keep your energy up.
One common sexy snack is a piece of dark chocolate which can give you a natural boost of energy. Dark chocolate is chock-full of anandamide and phenylethylamine which can increase your serotonin levels, making you feel good and ready for the bedroom.
Similarly, leafy greens such as spinach are a great post-sex snack. They are rich in iron which helps transport oxygen to the blood, boosting energy production. Add some to a vibrant salad or smoothie. You can also eat some bananas which are rich in potassium, calcium, and iron. These minerals are essential to keeping your body hydrated and energized.
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