You’re in a relationship with the girl of your dreams. She’s thoughtful, caring, intelligent and funny. She’s everything you could ask for in a girlfriend except one thing: she won’t have sex with you.
The frequency of sex is an individual need that can vary for each couple. This is why it’s important to be honest with your partner.
1. She’s not in the mood
She’s thoughtful, caring, intelligent and everything you ever wanted in a girlfriend, but there’s one problem. She doesn’t want to take things to the next level in the bedroom. It’s frustrating and disappointing, especially after all the fire and explosive chemistry you shared on your first date.
She might be feeling tired from everyday activities, or she may be dealing with stress and anxiety. She might even be taking medication that affects her libido. If that’s the case, she’ll need to take steps to care for herself emotionally and physically in order to feel ready for intimacy again.
Another reason she might not be in the mood is that she feels guilty about her sexual desires. Some people grow up with religious or cultural messages that make them feel like their desire for sex is wrong or sinful.
You can try to address this by letting her know how much you value her and how important she is to you. It might also help to compliment her often and remind her how sexy she is.
2. She’s afraid
Sometimes a woman’s fear of becoming pregnant or contracting an STI can be a major Brake that stops her from having sex. She may also be worried about you cheating on her or not caring for her health. If you notice her avoiding sex, try to talk about this with her during a neutral time. Be honest and let her know you aren’t trying to avoid sex and that you want her to feel safe.
Another big reason she might be afraid to have sex with you is that she doesn’t trust you. If she thinks you’re talking to other girls or texting them, her mind will go into overdrive and she’ll start to panic. This will make her believe that you’re not devoted to her and she might lose you.
Her fear of losing you may stem from the messages she got as a child and throughout her life. She may have been told that good girls don’t have sex until marriage and that men abandon women. She doesn’t want to experience this again.
3. She’s tired
It’s no secret that sleepiness is one of the top reasons women decline to have sex. Whether it’s from working extra hours or caring for sick family members, she may not feel up to the physical intimacy that a relationship requires. It’s important not to take this too personally and to understand that she is simply tired from her day-to-day life. However, if her excuses for turning down sex start to become regular, it’s probably time to investigate what’s going on behind the scenes. After all, it’s not healthy for the long-term health of a relationship to have your partner constantly denying you sexual intimacies. You deserve better than that.
Is she faking it? Here are some tips for finding out if she’s lying.
4. She’s stressed
Sometimes, a woman simply needs time to recover from physical intimacy. She might be tired from a busy work schedule, or she may have a stressful family life that takes up a lot of her time. If this is the case, she should be allowed to take some time away from intimacy and focus on her other priorities.
It’s important to communicate with her about what is stressing her out. For example, if she’s stressed about finances, try talking with her about it. This can help you understand what she is feeling and find a solution together.
Also, consider bringing up the subject of couples’ therapy. This can help both of you reconnect and regain trust in the relationship. Additionally, try giving her compliments frequently. This can help her feel like a sexy, beautiful and desirable woman, which can be a great way to bring back her interest in sex. Lastly, remember that it is a good idea to avoid using sexual frustration as a way to manipulate her. It can be a slippery slope that leads to serious problems down the road.
5. She’s insecure
If she says she enjoys sex with you but continues to avoid intimacy in the bedroom, it’s possible that she is insecure about something. It could be about her body or about your relationship. Insecurity is a real problem in relationships and it’s important to address it before it escalates. It’s also important to remember that the frequency of sex is an individual need and what may be satisfying for one person may not be for another.
Women are attracted to leaders, not followers and when she feels like you’re a follower in your approach to the sexy side of the relationship, she will not want to take things up a notch with you. Try assuming more of a leadership role and letting her know how sexy and beautiful she is.
Some people will tell you to give her massages, cook for her and leave little love notes around the house. While these are nice things to do, they will only help so much. The underlying issue is that she has lost her attraction for you.
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