For many couples, condoms don’t always feel like the best way to enjoy sex. If you’re considering going condom-free, make sure you and your partner have a discussion about safe sex.
You should discuss alternative contraception with your partner, which includes female condoms, diaphragms and oral contraceptive pills. You should also consider getting a comprehensive STD test that checks for chlamydia, gonorrhoea, syphilis, HPV and HIV.
Open communication
While it may be tempting to skip barrier methods in the name of pleasure, this approach is a risky one. In addition to pregnancy, it can also expose you to sexually transmitted diseases, such as herpes and HIV. It’s important to communicate openly with your partner about your sex and contraception preferences. This will ensure that you are both comfortable with your choice.
Some people have trouble using condoms because they feel uncomfortable or the rubber can dull physical sensation. But many couples can find a condom that feels good for them, especially since they are available in so many different sizes and varieties. Some are flavored, ribbed, or extra lubricated. There are even condoms designed to increase pleasure during sex.
Using condoms will help you avoid unwanted pregnancy and high-risk STIs, such as chlamydia, herpes, and gonorrhea. However, if your partner refuses to use protection, it’s important to discuss the reasons why. If he says that he’s not interested in using protection, you might want to ask him about his sexual history and see if he’s had any STDs in the past.
If he’s not able to answer your questions, it might be a sign that you need to take some time off from the relationship. If he still insists on having sex without a condom, ask him to get tested for herpes and HIV before you sleep with him again.
Alternative contraception
One way to have sex without condoms and stay safe is to use alternative contraception. This includes hormone-based methods, like the pill, mini pill and vaginal ring and long-acting reversible birth control, such as implants, IUDs and injections. Hormonal contraception doesn’t protect against STIs, so it is important to use a barrier method in addition to this to reduce the risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STDs).
Another way to have sex safely is to not allow the penis to enter the vagina during intercourse. This method is not for everyone, and it can be uncomfortable, but it can be effective if done correctly. In this method, couples cuddle, caress and give each other pleasure, but they do not engage in sexual intercourse. The person with the penis pulls out before he or she ejaculates, to avoid semen entering the woman’s vagina. This method is only about 70 percent effective, however.
Condoms are easy to use and can be purchased at most drug or grocery stores. They are about 85% effective if worn correctly and not ripped. Always use water-based lubricant with condoms, as oil-based lube can cause them to break. It is also a good idea to carry a package of emergency contraceptives with you, in case an unprotected encounter occurs. You can buy these over the counter at supermarkets, pharmacies (or chemists) and sexual health clinics, as well as through vending machines in some nightclubs.
STD testing
Using barrier methods like condoms is the best way to avoid STIs and pregnancy, but sometimes even when you use them, there are still risks. Getting tested can help put your mind at ease and give you peace of mind, especially after unprotected sex.
Many STIs have no symptoms or are so mild they’re hard to detect, including HIV which can be undetectable. You or your partner could get an STI without realising you’ve passed it on – and even with a condom, there are still risks of sex-related infection (including pelvic inflammatory disease) and pregnancy.
You can get a free STI test in shops, pharmacies (or chemists), sexual health clinics and family planning clinics. You can also buy a pack of condoms at supermarkets and from vending machines in some clubs, pubs and universities. They are available in different types and sizes, so you can find one that fits you or your partner. Some are lubricated so they’re easier to slip on and off.
Safer sex can feel just as sexy as sex with a condom or dam. Pleasure is just the start though – safer sex can make you feel great in other ways too. For example, if you have latex allergies, try using a non-latex condom or internal condom. It’s also important to talk about how you and your partner will use them together so everyone understands what they are for.
Having sex without a condom
Condoms are cheap, easy to find and easy to use. They can be purchased at supermarkets, pharmacies (or chemists), sexual health clinics and family planning clinics. They are also available in vending machines at some nightclubs, pubs and colleges.
Some people find using a condom awkward, particularly in cultures where there is a high degree of traditional gender roles and/or sexual disapproval. These cultural attitudes can be a significant barrier to condom use, especially among men.
It’s important to use condoms correctly, every time. This is the only way to reduce both pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, including HIV. If a condom breaks or comes off during sex, talk to your partner about using emergency contraception and get tested as soon as possible.
If you’re using a male condom, make sure that the open end of the condom is facing up and not down, and that it is firmly rolled onto an erect penis. If you’re using lubricant, use water-based lube as this reduces the risk of condoms tearing. After sex, one of you should hold the base of the condom while it is being pulled off so that semen doesn’t spill out. If the condom is still a little stiff, add more lubricant. Then, tie the end in a knot and throw it away in a bin.
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